dover street [2001]

‘…weeks so short & wonderful

seeming so long

intensity nestles itself down on our knees

how many lifetimes since?

without purposely anticipating a life without you

having so easily climbed

how many miles must I fall to the floor?

planted, cold & shivering

spine melted firmly to the opposite side of your door

memories flow out of your windows

& I’m missing your smile & those cool-green eyes

filled with abandonment

peering over plains of skin & ridges of bone

you say you want all this but I’m not quite sure if the sky is blue today

i haven’t left your stairwell since midnight…’

me no cry [2001]

‘…me no cry

lest I dive to remember you

september is coming soon

maybe the town will close down until then

breathe deep soon

in a café in swan street

chain-smoking, reforming, vacant-eyed drama queen

accidental death of if’s, maybe’s & might-have-been’s

somebody’s always lying in love

& 10,000 years can’t erase what I’m thinking of

me no cry…’

settle...[2000]

‘…you settle your cup down

prelude to a story of how you described the colour green to the blind man on the tram

having said he only knew red, born into pools congealing

how you asked him what his dreams looked like

you’d never wondered about it & now you need to know

“A blind man helped me see today!”

a booming benny hinn

you push your sunglasses upwards along the gradient of your ski-jump nose

(yoyo’s stuck in your teeth)

& hand me a postcard from my home town

‘It’s not about finding out who you are’, you’ve written

‘it’s about remembering who you were’

I settle my cup down…’

staring off into the distance [2000]

‘…it’s a quick kiss & the turn of a back

replacing the lingerings & adventures backward toward the car

lips locked, eyes closed

it’s remembering how good he looked in that blue shirt

but only ever telling him the first time it took your breath away

it’s monotony & repetition

of the words, the gestures & the experiences

that takes the edge off it

& blinds your ability to realise you are in the presence of something magnificent

a smell, a place, an aura, a sound

‘til you look back & wonder why you weren’t happy for those very moments you were together…’

friendship [1999]

‘…friendship is the true seed of love

your questions the probing roots

breaking the shell, seeking their length

your secrets the anchor

the sexual tension their struggling through every grain of soil

that falls upon you like the sands of time

nurtured by the warmth of the tenderness you share

& the golden rays of your aura

that escape through your teeth when you smile

like sunlight

your tears are the moisture that quench the thirst

when your laughter is sleeping & your stem becomes dry

to accept this love

is to break through the soil

your leaves part the earth with the opening of lips

& unfurl like a tongue seeking freedom

so may you begin to grow…’

so much to tell you [1999]

‘…I guess I should call but

there’s always a ‘but’

so much to tell you

I wish I could just look at you & you could know

so I don’t have to break your heart with my very own mouth

if I am silent, surely you can tell

that’s the way it ends here in the land of emotional giants

everyone’s too big to admit they were wrong

like I was to have entertained the thought of you

I am sorry

I know it isn’t much

& it pales in comparison when you are offering me the world

but I never asked you for it…’

baptism [1999]

‘…enya vibrates through the door

into my arm

resonating through my every molecule

rain is streaming down my windows

just as tears have streamed down my cheeks today

& with this simultaneous emptying of the sky & my soul

comes a freshness

the chilled breath of the invigorating air of hope

& I am alone, but never lonely…’

life lessons...[1999]

‘…Never tell a friend you don’t like their partner (unless they ask you straight out, then be truthful but diplomatic)

Forgive people who have hurt you…you too have been cruel

Don’t be afraid to snort when you laugh

Make as many sentences as you can using the letters of your name

Nominate one day a year other than your birthday that is YOUR day

Learn how to realise you are dreaming without waking up

See a foreign film in a language you don’t speak without subtitles & make up your own storyline

Count the steps it takes you to get from one place to another

Pay your bills on time – at least once each

Leave a book in a public place – release it into the wild

Observe the night sky (preferably through a telescope) & learn about what you are seeing

Don’t always hurry to get out of the rain

Pack up everything you own into boxes, just to see how many there would be

Never tell anyone it’s going to be ok, it’s not & they don’t want to hear it

If your are balding, acknowledge it, it’s beautiful, comb-overs are not

Never wash your hair with soap

Leave just as the situation is peaking

If he hits you or cheats on you, leave, it will never be equal again

Exaggerate at least one detail of a spoken recollection when appropriate but never forget the way it really happened

Every now & then, leave the washing up ‘til morning

Never let the sun set on an argument

Paint something other than your nails with nail-polish

Transcribe a tram conversation – it is material that can always be used in some form or another

Always understand exactly what someone is saying to you, no matter how many times you have to ask for it to be repeated

Learn how to operate a coffee-machine

Touch an amphibian (preferably a frog)

Never mis-pronounce or use words you may falter over when asked to explain

When people compliment you, nod, do something unsightly with your mouth & point out a funny shape in the clouds even if there aren’t any in sight

Acquire re-upholstering remnants & hand-make a cushion to rest your feet on

Never tell people you’ve done any form of modelling (even if you have) it not only smacks of vanity, it invites vicious speculation when you are out of ear-shot

Always own at least 3 varieties of cactus but never display them in the one place (window-sills excluded)

Never be seen with a lollipop in your mouth

Despite the concensus, they are not cool, it makes the meatheads think you constantly want to suck cock

(ignore this advice in instances where you DO constantly want to suck cock)

Send your parents a card with a poem in it (preferably one you have written yourself)– as long as it does not contain the word cock, no matter what kind of people they are, they will cherish it

Have 5 variations of your Sunday best but only wear them outside of weekends - treat the week-day people who know you

If you think this is an epiphany

It isn’t

Step out of the line

Go back 5 re-incarnations

& never tell anyone about this …’

risbey lane [2000]

‘…there is magic in back alleys

under a full moon

where laughing girls, swollen with the beautiful voice of the goddess, dance & sway

it was hard not to imagine that their smiles were lighting the world instead of the moon…’

weekly ritual breakdown [1999]

[Preface]

‘…she is overwhelmed by the smell of drugs as she walks into the bathroom, flares pulled up over her knees intending to wash her feet….she’s thinking about taking a bath…’

‘…she has another bathroom mirror conversation

uneasy, shaking

make-up running

if only you could see the pathetique

she knows it’s mainly lack of sleep

but the thoughts are brewing again

same time, same place

twisting their way through grey matter at body temperature

appropriately resembling the contents of a cement mixer

escaping as long-winded sighs that hang from her tongue

& unfurl like solemn flags of surrender

she liberates a week full of pent-up suffering

absorbed silently along with the smoke in equal portions

by the towels, the exhaust fan, her hair & the one inch gap under the door

it’s stale residue lingers ‘til another washing day…’

maiden [1998]

‘…oh the people I have been

golden-haired child

only now am I realising the volume of the mysteries inside her…’